An Open Letter to Donald Trump

By M. Rooney

Dear “President” Trump,
Like many Americans, and people around the world, I listened to your remarks this morning
regarding the airplane tragedy in the Potomac River near Reagan National Airport. The first 17
minutes were well written. Please congratulate whatever staff member prepared those remarks
for you. Mind you, they would have sounded better if you had read them over aloud a few times
to get the cadence down and figure out where each sentence began and ended, but overall,
well done. Oh, with one exception; you should have skipped over the paragraph starting with
“The icy, icy Potomac River”.. I’m sure those words were not in the original script. Following
that was this phrase: “Together we take solace in the knowledge that their journey did not end
in the cold waters of the Potomac, but in the warm embrace of a loving God.” You don’t believe
that, and neither do I. Sadly, they did die in the icy Potomac River. You stuck that in there so
that people who do have faith might think you are among them, which you are not. Your only
God is yourself, and I’m pretty sure the only stranger who has embraced you in the last ten
years on purpose was Stormy Daniels. Sorry if I sound mean, I meant what I said about the
opening though.

At about minute 17, you went off the script. Big mistake. You could have walked away then
and people like me would have said: “Oh wow, he sounds sane and sincere.” Instead, it went
downhill, down even deeper than the depths of the icy Potomac River. Like a small child, you
HAD to find personal blame for this terrible accident. You singled out Obama and Biden as the
culprits, because they let the FAA hire minorities, women, and probably even gay or
transgender people. Nobody in any one of those categories could also be intelligent or
competent enough to be an air-traffic controller. Your words were hard to listen to, mean
spirited, vengeful, small-minded, boastful, inaccurate, and simply dumb.

Since I seem to be in a critical mood, I think I should also let you know that you are fat and ugly.
It’s OK to say that, right? I mean, take a look in the mirror. That orange stuff plastered on your
face, and the clashing wispy yellow hair make me want to look away, like you might for
someone with any other physical disability. You have all the pampering you could need in the
White House, so reflect on your food choices. Have a salad. Get some aerobic exercise. Lose
weight. Get a decent haircut, and for heaven’s sake, wash off that orange stuff.

I can’t help but hope you resign your term early. It does not matter how or why. As someone
who is close to your age, I selfishly want to see a President in the White House who possesses
at least a few Presidential qualities: integrity, compassion, intelligence, common sense, worldly
knowledge, and yes, good looks.