We Have Another Cairn Problem

Outdoorsmen: we have a cairn problem.

No, I’m not talking about “Karens.” As you know, “Karen” is a slang term for an obnoxious, entitled woman with “speak-to-the manager” hair. I’m talking about “cairns” (pronounced “kerns”). These are man-made piles or stacks of rocks that are popping up all over. You’ve seen them in parks, camp sites, along hiking trails, mountaintops, riverbeds, beaches and lakes. Basically any place that has outdoor recreation, someone will build a cairn.

Some cairns can serve a legitimate purpose. They can be used as a trail marker for hikers or as a navigational tool on the water for boaters to avoid rocks and other hazards. They can even be used as a memorial or burial mound. However most cairns serve no legitimate purpose. These rock piles are stacked up by campers and hikers to mark their own personal passage. It’s similar to carving into a tree: “Ben Wuz Here.”

For the benefit of hikers, the Parks Department nails up official trail markers on trees and the Department of Environmental Conservation has its navigational and hazard buoys on the lake for boaters. When people stack up their own cairns on lakes and mountains, it distracts from genuine navigational guides. In other words, your cairn is probably not necessary.

Frankly, they are superfluous and to many they are an ugly reminder of man’s overbearing presence.

These unnecessary rock piles also conflict with the “Leave No Trace” ethic, which basically asks that recreators not disturb the lake’s natural beauty. In addition to not littering or unnecessarily cutting down trees, we should refrain from changing the natural topography of the lake.

This past week my family and I camped in the Mother Bunch Islands of Lake George. It’s a beautiful area of the lake, primarily because the land is preserved from development. Unfortunately, the islands are also chock-full of cairns left by other campers. The cairns there have devolved into even more hideous structures. One island had a cairn that was built into some sort of dragon-like creature. It had a head that was affixed by steel pins, a toothy grin made from glued-on shells, and a tail made from driftwood. Yikes.

Near our summer camp on Lake George, someone built a cairn two feet high and stuck a plastic pinwheel on top. Cute, I guess, but this isn’t a ride at Epcot center. It’s a beautiful, pristine lake. If your toddler built a stack of blocks in your living room you might think it’s cute for the afternoon, but by morning you’d make him put his toys away. It’s time to put the rocks back where they belong.

This isn’t the worst problem on the lake, but it’s an avoidable eyesore. As Andy Rooney, my grandfather and summer Lake George resident, would ask: “Is this really better than nothing would be?” The answer is almost certainly “no.”

So, to bring this deeply flawed comparison full-circle, as long as we are canceling “Karens,” maybe we can cancel “cairns” as well. Thanks.